By Gracious Egedegbe
Lawyer: Could you please introduce yourself
to the court?
Bonu: ok sir. My name na Bonu kuko. I be
okada driver. No! I am an educated okada driver. (Beams with smile.) I be
school till SS 2 before my papa go the next level.
Lawyer: By ‘the next level’, you mean he’s
dead, I suppose?
Bonu: No! The useless man dey jail. He
go arrange some kind tithe from one rich man like that na him they hold am.
Instead make he call him friends, he go alone. Stingy man!
Lawyer: All right, let’s return to you. Tell
me about your relationship with Miss Sisi Gbameleti.
Bonu: We be padi nau. When I first
enter that compound na she I first meet. She be dey wash plate for outside when
I come the house. As she see say I just dey look like educated idiot she come
ask me wetin I dey find. Na him I tell am say I dey find the landlord. The girl
nice o! She come leave her plate carry me go meet the landlord. As I come rent
the house, she dey sometimes come dey greet me.
Lawyer: And what is the nature of the
“greetings” and how often did it happen?
Bonu: Na normal greeting nau. Shey
person no fit dey greet him neighbor ni? See am, na if she come from school and
their room no dey open, she go just come for my place if I dey around.
Lawyer: You’re a commercial motorcyclist or
okada driver as you want to put it. How is it that you’re always around
whenever she comes back from school?
Bonu: See this man o! you dull sha.
You no know say market no dey move well for afternoon abi you don too big wey
you no sabi simple things? See am, make I update your brain small. Na early mo
mo I dey first commot. Sometimes self, na me dey carry am and her brother go
school. I go then work till around 12 for afternoon wey I go come house baff, chop,
come rest. By 5:30, latest 6 for evening I don commot again.
Lawyer: So can I safely assume you are
always around every afternoon and she comes to your apartment during that
period?
Bonu: Something like that. But na Inter
Milan. No, no be the word wey I won use be that. I mean say no be every time.
Sometimes I dey go them my guys place.
Lawyer: Ok. Apart from times when her door
is locked, she doesn’t “greet” you? To use your words…
Bonu: Well, she still dey come some
other times nau. But na intermittently. No be so una dey put am? (Smiles) me
self sabi oyibo nau. See am, oga lawyer I no go lie you because my hand dey
clean. She dey sometimes help me do some kind things like cook, wash plate and
sometimes we dey play together. (Court murmurs)
Court clerk: Order!
Lawyer: And what is the nature of the
“play”? Does it involve physical contact of any kind?
Bonu: (Smiles) See this lawyer o, your
mind don spoil finish. Na normal play nau. We dey laugh, jump, normal rough
play nau
Lawyer: Hmm, rough play. Ok… Tell us about
the day in which you were accused of raping her. You were also playing rough
with her?
Bonu: (Brightens up) Ehen! Na now you
dey ask better question. (Looks at wristwatch) Time don go self. See am, that
day na we too dey together. Her mama don go market and her brother don go one
party like that. Na him she talk say make I on gen make we watch film. Me tell
am say I no get petrol for gen and the one wey dey okada no plenty. I tell am
say I don tire to go buy fuel. Say I won sleep. She no gree o! As I close my eyes
say make I sleep, na so she jump on me say make I go on gen. As she jump on me,
na so my body feel am (Court murmurs)
Court clerk: Order!
Lawyer: (Smiles, impressed by himself) What
exactly do you mean by “body feel am”?
Bonu: See this lawyer o! You never
enter that level ni? Oya, answer!
Lawyer: sir, this is not about me. It’s…
Bonu: (Cuts in) Abegi, no give me your
legalistic nonsense! You no be man? Oya…
Lawyer: (Cuts in) Please sir, answer the
question…
Bonu: Na wa o. No be your fault, na
because I no go school turn lawyer. Anyway, as a full-grown warri boy wey him
blood still dey hot, I feel her body. In fact, I felt the excitement, fire and
raw desire. It was like no other. I hope say that one don do you (Court murmurs)
Lawyer: Thank you sir. So was that the first
time you felt that way?
Bonu: (looks scornfully) Baba, which
level na? I be man nau. Abi you won to dey talk say you self no dey feel am?
Lawyer: Just answer the…
Bonu: (Cuts in) Abegi! This your
hypocrisy don dey smell. E no dey irritate you ni? I talk say person dey come
my house, say we dey play and you dey ask useless questions. Rubbish! Even she
don feel am before. We sha use am laugh. Ask am if you think say I dey lie.
(Court murmurs)
Lawyer: Do you realize that the girl in
question is still below consensual age?
Bonu: Which one be consensual age?
Shey that kind thing dey get age? Girls wey never even reach 16 self don dey do
am. In fact, she was just recovering from a heartbreak when we became real
close. So no dey give me shit make I chop.
Lawyer: Alright, back to the day in
question. After you felt it, what next?
Bonu: As a sharp guy, me quickly be
won arrange myself but she don notice. She come look am, come look my face,
come dey smile.
Court: (Shocked) Ha! (Murmurs)
Lawyer: Go on
Bonu: Na him she come dey do me “touch
me I touch you”. Me be no won gree
because I no like wetin man go do come dey regret. But as e come be say she don
dey enter the mood, na him me self respond as a man.
Lawyer: So you had sex with her?
Bonu: (Chuckles) Na so e bi o. next
thing wey I go hear, she don get belle and na me rape am. Abeg, make una judge
this matter, who rape who? No be her first rape me…
Lawyer: (Cuts in) So you responded by… er…
“raping” her?
Bonu: guy, free me. You dey talk like
say na bad thing I do. See am, the girl no b virgin o. no be say e matter then.
But the way u come dey talk, I no dey understand. (Addresses the judge) Big
mama, I dey hail o. as na you dey on top, na there you go dey chop breeze. Any
person wey won bring you down go fall instead. See am, e b like say something
dey happen here wey you never know. Na we two do am together, I no force am o.
in fact, they b want make I marry am but I no gree. As they hear say I don win
five milla for baba ijebu, they come talk say make I dey settle them. And me no
gree.
Court: Hmmm. Ha!! Na wa o
Lawyer: (Cuts in) that is deviating…
Bonu: (Cuts in) abegi! No be you I dey
talk to. Your time don pass like expiring date. Big mama, as I dey yarn, next
thing, they talk say the girl don carry belle. And me know how far. I no dey
release for person body because I know how e dey end. Na him I tell them say I
no go gree. Say na me give am belle, I for know.
Lawyer: Mr Bonu, do you admit to having
sexual relations with a girl below consensual age?
Buno: which level nau? I don explain to
you say the girl agree. I know say na the money una eye dey.
Lawyer: My Lord, as evident from the
testimony of the accused, Mr. Bonu had sexual relations with a girl below
consensual age. This was against the wishes of his victim and has caused
irreparable damage to the girl’s social and mental health, as well as her
family. He also impregnated his victim, thereby hampering her education. I pray
the court to award the sum of two million naira as damages.
Court: Chai! Omo see money! Dariz God
o!!
Light fades…. Bonu
had been dreaming
Buno and Sisi are seen laying on a
mattress laid on the floor. Bonu is wearing just a pair of shorts and Sisi is
wearing a singlet and brief shorts. Just as Sisi jumps on Bonu, he opens his
eyes, looks at her with shock and scorn and pushes her away.
Sisi: (Visibly shocked) what?
Bonu: (Hisses. Stands up and picks up
a pair of trouser hanging on a nail in the room.) I dey commot.
Sisi: (She walks to his back and
hugs him from behind) You want to leave me behind or what? What did I do wrong?
Bonu: Omote, just dey waka go your
mama house. I no do. Abi na by force?
Sisi: (tries to caress him) Bonu
love, talk to…
(Bonu forcibly pushes her out
through the door, grabs a t-shirt and motorcycle’s key and walks out of the
door. As bewildered Sisi looks on, he locks his door and walks away from her
while he puts on the shirt. As he mounts his bike, he mutters to himself: “God
punish all of una”)
The End
Good one!
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