John was the guy
I always liked. We were so compatible. He had many issues but then I had always
understood that no one was perfect. (Even Jesus was not a perfect human; he did
not sin, after all humans do.) I am not interested in Jesus; I am interested in
John. On the other hand, should I say was?
Our relationship
started on a fated day, a day I remember like yesterday, and desperately trying
to forget. We met at a friend’s room – well, technically it was a friend’s
room. I was only sharing her bed space with her. We talked for hours. Bo, I
felt like I had found my perfect match. I still believe he was perfect for me
until…
John was a guy
like no other. But hey, what girl wouldn’t say that of her man. Anyways, we
were an item for a while, and I did hope it lasted forever. I mean, we were
just perfect. I was ready to put up with his shenanigans as long as he was
going to be open with me. Yeah, that is I. I hate lies; it is a major turn off.
It turned out
John was unique after all. He was a guy with plenty of excitements. That was
fine by me, given my personality. I get bored easily so a little excitement on the
side is always welcomed. He drank many kinds of liquids and burnt a bit of
grass wrapped in paper here and there. Hell that is none of my business. I
never made his personal life my exclusive reserve and still did not when his
eyes began to stray.
Do not pretend
dear reader, our eyes stray. Some of us are just more sincere about it than
others. Anyways, so his eyes began to stray. As with most people, he might have
felt a certain discomfort. However, like Esther Perel (I honestly do not know
who she is or what she does, it is just one weird neighbour of mine that
mentioned her), I believe our basic makeup as humans allow for a bit of adventure.
You do not believe me? Ask your pastor why he had an affair with the choir
mistress although he had a beautiful wife and “direct communication” with God.
Thus, I did have
a talk with my man. I told him I was not going to cage the beast within; I only
wanted sincerity. Hey, do not think I told him to go on rampage and relate the
sordid details to me; I am not a pervert. Although I might not mind some juicy
gist *winks*. As it were, it seemed we had an understanding on that. Do whatever you like but never take me for a
ride. Folks would later say that was a wrong move. (Mimicking Mary’s voice)
Whatever mhen…!
Well, it turned
out that guys are pathological liars, or most guys at least, with John at the
top of the ladder. Even when it was freaking obvious (just as it is obvious
that I wanted to use the f-word), he still denied it. He refused to admit to
what he has done even when he knows I HATE LIES SPOKEN OR IMPLIED.
Chai, I am
losing my temper. I really do not like losing my temper. However, with lies, I
just cannot help it. Damn, I am not going to lie; I have issues with being fooled,
worse more with someone I trust. They say humans have a line they want no one
to cross; well, that is mine.
I honestly want
to think it is over between us. Whatever compatibility we might have, of what
use is a relationship if I cannot trust my man? I mean, I just cannot stand it.
Guess what, I am going to deal with him like no other. He sure has seen me
react to a lie from some other; surely, he should know what to expect.
Thinking about
it now, did I set myself for it all along? Alternatively, is this a character
flaw rearing its ugly head? On the other hand, is this just some challenge to
the strength of our relationship? Then again, am I just making a mountain out
of a molehill?
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