Tuesday 9 February 2016

OF LEFTIES AND RIGHT MAN (COMEDY)

I am sitting in this bus stuck in a watertight hold-up trying to survive this excruciating heat along with the incessant laughter coming from the couple beside me. As it turns out, I decide to play a game of faces.



OF LEFTIES

The couple to my left is not married. In fact, I want to say they are not even engaged. I guess that the woman is from somewhere in Delta State; this is because she mentioned she has family in the region of Sapale, somewhere in Delta state. She also spooked with a near Warri accent. While on the other hand, the guy is either from cross river or Akwa Ibom.; this is predominately based on his unmistakable accent. Based on my presumed state of origins of the couple, I make the following assumptions.

  1.  The girl feels she has met a potential maga. This is based on the general preposition that all delta women are dangerous to be in a relationship with if they do not love you. Besides, the guy is always buying the chewable for her without considering himself. As it turned out, he could not continue his selfless attitude for long as he soon takes a bite here and another there from the chewable the girl feasts on.
  2. On the other hand, the guy is a "banger". This is also based on a preposition: that guys from either of the two aforementioned state are always looking for orifices to insert their ramrods into. Besides his hands were fond of going to strange places, which the girl seemed to appreciate (don’t ask me how I knew).
  3. They have gotten sexually intimate or are about to do so. This is based on the carefree way in which they caressed their bodies. They are so free doing some sexually suggestive things in public that what they do in private is best left to imagination.
  4. They are talkative. The only things worse than being a talkative is having two beside you when you’re rather in a foul mood. Boy, those pair could chatter for Africa.
RIGHT MAN
To my right I see a lone guy who plugs his ears all through the journey. He is most probably from Edo state or Delta state. This assumption is based on the dialect he spoke. The dialect seemed to have some undertones of Urhobo. He looks like the no nonsense type but such people rarely brag about their attitude; you simply see it oozing out from their actions. However, he looked like someone who thinks he’s always right (maybe that’s while he’s sitting by my right).

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